When talking with others, I am often baffled by the negativity that I often see. It doesn’t matter if its students in High School planing their lives after they graduate, or college students trying to figure out their careers, or even leaders in their particular field who feel like they have reached it. I am talking about when you feel invisible.
It’s that feeling that causes us to respond in many different ways. Some of us start to lose energy and focus. Others start to feel sad or depressed. While others of us just feel lost.
So what do we do with these feelings?
For fear of sounding weird, I have this belief that is deep down inside of me. This belief says more about us, then it does about anything else. You see, I believe that each and every person, regardless of where they were born, or where they live, or what job they have, has a Unique Design that makes them different than anyone else on the planet.
Whenever someone is in that spot where they feel invisible, I just want to get their attention and say “AWESOME! That means you are right where you are supposed to be.”
How can that be? How can a dry patch, a rough journey, a divorce, a job loss, a sick kid, a huge stack of bills be a good thing? See this is exactly what our Unique Design is all about. If you didn’t have those stack of bills, you wouldn’t be wrestling with it now. If you didn’t have a sick kid, where/how would you be focused or spending your time? A job loss? I have found that very few people are passionate about their jobs. In fact, many people would love to get rid of their jobs all together (sound nice?). But sometimes the frustrations, the opportunities, the resources that your job brings is exactly what makes you who you are.
We have to go through a situation in order to step into our unique design.
We often focus on the situations themselves, when we feel invisible. But that doesn’t help us to step into our Unique Design. In fact, it often causes us to go in the complete opposite direction.
So what do we do now? Did you know that some very crucial, and important things happen to us each and every time we face that feeling of invisibility, loss or hopelessness?
6 Important Things That Happen To Us In That Moment
1. You Discover More About Yourself
When we are going through a job loss, or a financial crisis, or health issue, we get to develop our Unique Design. It is how we treat others in the midst of these situations, that make us who we are. It is your character that is getting redefined, reshaped, and re-purposed.
When everything around you feels like it is caving in, it is in that very moment, that your character is being tested, challenged, molded, and re-purposed.
2. You Are Being Trained For The Future
We have all heard it said that ‘history repeats itself.’ I am not saying that you will go through another situation just like the one you currently find yourself in. My hope is that you see that you are better equipped for that future situation, because of the one you find yourself in now. This has more to do with you stepping into your Unique Design then it does about not having another bad situation ever happen to you again.
3. You Stop Focusing on Questions, and Worry about Answers
It is in our human nature to want to go down the path of least resistance. Some people have completely ruined their lives (marriages, careers, families) because they chose the easy road. I find it interesting that this type of thinking requires us to come up with the correct answers: what job gets me the biggest paycheck, what treatment will keep my baby alive, what did I do to deserve this? All of these are questions that we run through in our heads (sometimes even verbally) when things start to go wrong.
If you are ever going to live in your Unique Design, you are going to have to stop asking questions.
You are going to have to start focusing on the answers. When I get this much money in the bank, I will no longer have to live in debt. When things happen rather than ask ‘why me?’ we start saying ‘ok, so I did (list out what you did), now lets learn from this. What do I need to do to stop this from happening again?’
See? You may be asking a question, but the purpose of your question is to have an answer for the ones that get you down.
4. It’s OK That I’m Dealing With This
We need to realize that dealing with things is a healthy way to live. We can never get ahead in our finances if we don’t know where our money is going. I like to deal with my things through reading. Nothing is better than getting another persons perspective on a situation. Who knows, they may say something that pushes you right into your Unique Design.
5. Thinking Is Good For You
I often joke about how thinking makes my head hurt. But the reality is, that thinking through things (like other perspectives, questions, etc) actually helps you to go into 4WD through the mess, and eventually get back onto the path of your Unique Design.
6. You Do Have A Unique Design
When you are right in the middle of the situation, it is easy to look for a wide, heavily used path. But that will never lead you into your Unique Design. Remember, your Unique Design is something that only you can have. You will never reach it by following the same path as someone else.
We often want the syllabus for living within our Unique Design. When in reality, we would still miss some assignments, turn things in late, and even mis-read or mis-interpret what it says. This is why having a critical mind, processing through things in crucial on this journey.